Who to call when an elderly parent needs help

The short answer

If your parent is in immediate danger, call 911. For everything else, make these calls in order: your parent’s doctor, then the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116, then 211. Those three connect you to nearly every local service a family needs: home care, meals, rides, benefits and caregiver support.

The rest of this guide explains which call fits which situation, what to have in front of you, and what to say.

If it is an emergency, call 911 first

Do not wait, and do not worry about overreacting. Call 911 for:

• Chest pain, trouble breathing, or signs of a stroke (sudden weakness, a drooping face, slurred speech)
• A bad fall, especially with a head injury, severe pain or inability to get up
• Sudden confusion or unresponsiveness
• Someone in immediate danger from another person

If you are not sure, call. Dispatchers are trained to help you decide. For an emotional crisis, call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, which is open 24/7.

If it is not an emergency: five calls in order

1. Your parent’s primary care doctor. Describe what you have noticed. Sudden changes in memory, appetite, mood or balance can have treatable causes, so a medical check is the right first step.
2. The Eldercare Locator: 1-800-677-1116. This free service from the U.S. Administration for Community Living connects you to your parent’s local Area Agency on Aging. Have your parent’s ZIP code ready. It is open Monday to Friday.
3. 211. Dial three digits from any phone for local help with food, housing, utilities, transportation and caregiver programs. Free, confidential and available 24/7.
4. The hospital social worker or discharge planner, if your parent is in the hospital. Ask for them by title before the discharge date is set.
5. Medicare at 1-800-633-4227 (1-800-MEDICARE), if the question is about coverage or bills. For free one-on-one counseling, ask for your state’s SHIP program.

If you only make one call today, make the second one. The Area Agency on Aging knows what exists in your parent’s town.

Who to call for specific situations

All of these numbers are also on our Get Help page, where each was checked in July 2026. Hours can change, so confirm before you rely on one.

What to have ready before you call

A few minutes of preparation makes every call shorter and more useful. Write these on one page:

• Your parent’s full name, date of birth, address and phone number
• Their doctors’ names and the pharmacy they use
• A list of current medications and any allergies
• Their insurance details, including the Medicare card if they have one
• A short description of what you have noticed and since when

Keep these in one place. Our free Emergency Planning Kit is built for exactly this.

One practical point: doctors’ offices and insurers usually cannot discuss your parent’s care with you unless your parent has given permission. If your parent is able, ask them to sign a release at the doctor’s office so you can speak with the care team.

What to say on the first call

You do not need perfect words. A clear, calm summary works:

“My mother is 82 and lives alone. Over the last month she has been forgetting to take her medication and missing bills. I live an hour away. I would like to know what help is available near her and how to get started.”

Then ask three questions on every call: What can you do for us? What should I do next? Who else should I call? Write down the name of the person you spoke to, the date, and what they said.

If your parent does not want help

It is common for parents to resist. Start with the smallest step, such as a ride service or a few hours of help with errands, and let your parent stay in charge of decisions. If your parent is a capable adult, you generally cannot force help on them, but you can keep the door open and keep checking in. Our guide to what to do first when an aging parent needs help walks through the early conversations, and the early warning signs can help you decide how urgent things are.

Keep a simple call log

After the first few calls it gets hard to remember who said what. Keep a page or note with the date, the organization, the person’s name, and the next step. Share it with siblings or other family so everyone is working from the same information. Writing it down also helps if you need to follow up, because you can say exactly who you spoke with and when.

Frequently asked questions

Who do I call if my elderly parent lives alone and cannot cope?

Start with their doctor to rule out a medical cause, then call the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 to reach the local Area Agency on Aging. They can arrange or point you to home care, meals, rides and caregiver support in your parent’s area.

Is the Eldercare Locator free?

Yes. The Eldercare Locator is a free public service of the U.S. Administration for Community Living. It connects you with local programs. Individual programs it refers you to may have their own eligibility rules or fees.

Can I report suspected neglect or abuse of my own parent?

Yes. Anyone can contact Adult Protective Services in your parent’s state to report suspected abuse, neglect or exploitation. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911 first.

What if I live far away from my parent?

Use your parent’s ZIP code, not yours, when you call the Eldercare Locator or 211. Their local Area Agency on Aging can recommend options, and a professional care manager can coordinate help on your behalf for a fee.

Sources and further reading

For official, up-to-date information, start with these sources:

• Eldercare Locator (U.S. Administration for Community Living)
• 211: local help by phone and web
• Medicare.gov
• Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 Helpline
• National Institute on Aging